I
know a few of you are growing tired of all the political posts or comments
recently expressed on my Facebook page but with the Presidential election just
days away and early voting already open, I need to clarify what this election
means to me and to my family.
Listen, I acknowledge that each of you, regardless of your party affiliation, supports gay rights in the abstract - if you don't, please unfriend me now. But this election, for the first time in history, puts my rights and the rights of my family in question. Never before have two viable candidates been so far apart on gay rights issues nor has any other candidate been so vocal in their desire to solidify discrimination (on a multitude of levels) against me and my family. I get it, gay rights are not the most important issue to you and your family, your basic rights aren’t being voted on, they aren’t in jeopardy so it’s easy to sweep this issue under the rug. However, in an effort to help you understand exactly what is at stake for me, I want to be very specific:
First and foremost are our children, that’s right, OUR children. As of 2010, both of our names appear on our children’s birth certificates and we have an adoption decree assuring that no one can ever question J and I as T, P or H’s parents. But it infuriates me that we had to petition the court to insure that protection and that BOTH of us had to undergo a background check, have a home study and provide financials. Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally grateful that our adoption took place and I also recognize that we are in the minority with respect to second-parent legal rights. Paul Ryan wants to ban adoption by same-sex partners - including J and I - despite research showing that same-sex parents provide equally loving and stable home environments that result in healthy, well-adjusted children.
Secondly, as of 2012, 29 states allow businesses to fire me because I am gay, but it's considered discrimination to fire someone simply for being over a certain age, or for being Muslim or hard of hearing. Both Romney and Ryan are against employment protection for gays. Think for a second how that must feel, to know that the candidate your loved ones are voting for thinks that you should not have the basic right to WORK.
How many of you remember the story of Mathew Shepherd? Surely we can agree that beating someone to death while calling them a "faggot" is an act of hate? But both Romney and Ryan are against protecting gays in this Country's hate crimes laws, laws which Bush vowed to veto if it reached his desk and Obama ultimately signed into effect. So under the Romney/Ryan administration, I can legally be fired simply for being gay and IF someone murders me for the same reason, my murder would not fall under the hate crime law.
This takes me onto another issue, largely ignored by his supporters, if elected; Romney wants to reverse efforts made by Obama to protect people like myself by returning to individual states, the option to dictate weather or not I have the right to visit J in the event that she is hospitalized. Obama issued a landmark executive order to insure that I would not be turned away at that most important time in our lives, the moment where one of us is hospitalized and needs the comfort of our closest loved one. Romney continues to assert that he will reverse this order as he believes that my being by J’s side in her time of need is a “benefit” not a right. For my married, heterosexual counterparts, it is your right and one that I assume each of you would exercise if such tragedy ever struck your family. How would you feel to have that right taken away? What would it feel like to think of your husband or wife dying in the next room, without you there to comfort them? It has happened, and it could easily happen to our family if Romney/Ryan are elected.
Next, an issue that gets me so upset I will have to keep my comments to a minimum here but please know that Romney and Ryan not only support DADT, but Romney has repeatedly said he would fight to reverse the repeal. The repeal of DADT allows J to go to work every day without fear of being investigated and possibly discharged (DISHONORABLY) simply because she loves ME and our family. What kind of Commander in Chief doesn't support a war vet who has completed not one but THREE year-long deployments defending this Country?
Lastly, there’s the issue of marriage equality. According to the Defense of Marriage Act, J and I are both single. If one of us dies, we could face inheritance taxes on our own property. When we moved to Fort Hood, by the military’s request, I was required to quit my job. Legally married spouses would be able to file for unemployment while they seek new employment. That was not an option for me. Because we cannot marry and receive federal recognition, I do not have access to health insurance or any other benefit provided by the United States Military. We had to pay out of our own pockets for me to relocate during this most recent move and flights to Hawaii are NOT cheap. While 25 states allow cousins to marry, which are immediately recognized federally, there are 1,138 rights, benefits and privileges of marriage, WE are not allowed. Not only are Romney and Ryan vocal supporters of DOMA, they're also in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage and have promised to only nominate anti-gay judges.
So when you see me post something or hear me talk about my disdain for what Romney/Ryan represents, this is where I am coming from. These men pose a serious danger to my family...to my children’s family. Those of you who worry that you MIGHT pay a few extra dollars in taxes have NO idea how it feels to worry that your family will come under immediate attack if Romney is elected. It takes an act of Congress to raise taxes or balance a budget, but on day one in office, they can and will advance many of their beliefs through executive orders. And they've committed to doing just that. I respect that each of you hold differing beliefs and that you feel as if there are more important issues that make up your mind with respect to who you will vote for but I can’t fathom how you put taxes over the basic right of all individuals to love the one they love and to protect their families at any cost. No one can say for certain that Romney will balance the budget or that he will bring more jobs back to this Country (we’ve had other Presidents promise this and fail) but what we can say for certain is that Romney/Ryan are passionate about putting laws and previsions in place that will directly impact my family. They will have a catastrophic impact on the health and well-being of my partner, our three girls and what the future looks like for all five of us. I'm asking you to think about my family, think about each of our daughters, before you cast your vote. Can you honestly say you'd vote for someone who promises to take away your legal rights, and to prevent you from being treated equally? What if that politician threatened your legal rights to your own children? What if you had to get up in the morning and go to work defending his rights knowing that he was actively working to strip yours?
Listen, I acknowledge that each of you, regardless of your party affiliation, supports gay rights in the abstract - if you don't, please unfriend me now. But this election, for the first time in history, puts my rights and the rights of my family in question. Never before have two viable candidates been so far apart on gay rights issues nor has any other candidate been so vocal in their desire to solidify discrimination (on a multitude of levels) against me and my family. I get it, gay rights are not the most important issue to you and your family, your basic rights aren’t being voted on, they aren’t in jeopardy so it’s easy to sweep this issue under the rug. However, in an effort to help you understand exactly what is at stake for me, I want to be very specific:
First and foremost are our children, that’s right, OUR children. As of 2010, both of our names appear on our children’s birth certificates and we have an adoption decree assuring that no one can ever question J and I as T, P or H’s parents. But it infuriates me that we had to petition the court to insure that protection and that BOTH of us had to undergo a background check, have a home study and provide financials. Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally grateful that our adoption took place and I also recognize that we are in the minority with respect to second-parent legal rights. Paul Ryan wants to ban adoption by same-sex partners - including J and I - despite research showing that same-sex parents provide equally loving and stable home environments that result in healthy, well-adjusted children.
Secondly, as of 2012, 29 states allow businesses to fire me because I am gay, but it's considered discrimination to fire someone simply for being over a certain age, or for being Muslim or hard of hearing. Both Romney and Ryan are against employment protection for gays. Think for a second how that must feel, to know that the candidate your loved ones are voting for thinks that you should not have the basic right to WORK.
How many of you remember the story of Mathew Shepherd? Surely we can agree that beating someone to death while calling them a "faggot" is an act of hate? But both Romney and Ryan are against protecting gays in this Country's hate crimes laws, laws which Bush vowed to veto if it reached his desk and Obama ultimately signed into effect. So under the Romney/Ryan administration, I can legally be fired simply for being gay and IF someone murders me for the same reason, my murder would not fall under the hate crime law.
This takes me onto another issue, largely ignored by his supporters, if elected; Romney wants to reverse efforts made by Obama to protect people like myself by returning to individual states, the option to dictate weather or not I have the right to visit J in the event that she is hospitalized. Obama issued a landmark executive order to insure that I would not be turned away at that most important time in our lives, the moment where one of us is hospitalized and needs the comfort of our closest loved one. Romney continues to assert that he will reverse this order as he believes that my being by J’s side in her time of need is a “benefit” not a right. For my married, heterosexual counterparts, it is your right and one that I assume each of you would exercise if such tragedy ever struck your family. How would you feel to have that right taken away? What would it feel like to think of your husband or wife dying in the next room, without you there to comfort them? It has happened, and it could easily happen to our family if Romney/Ryan are elected.
Next, an issue that gets me so upset I will have to keep my comments to a minimum here but please know that Romney and Ryan not only support DADT, but Romney has repeatedly said he would fight to reverse the repeal. The repeal of DADT allows J to go to work every day without fear of being investigated and possibly discharged (DISHONORABLY) simply because she loves ME and our family. What kind of Commander in Chief doesn't support a war vet who has completed not one but THREE year-long deployments defending this Country?
Lastly, there’s the issue of marriage equality. According to the Defense of Marriage Act, J and I are both single. If one of us dies, we could face inheritance taxes on our own property. When we moved to Fort Hood, by the military’s request, I was required to quit my job. Legally married spouses would be able to file for unemployment while they seek new employment. That was not an option for me. Because we cannot marry and receive federal recognition, I do not have access to health insurance or any other benefit provided by the United States Military. We had to pay out of our own pockets for me to relocate during this most recent move and flights to Hawaii are NOT cheap. While 25 states allow cousins to marry, which are immediately recognized federally, there are 1,138 rights, benefits and privileges of marriage, WE are not allowed. Not only are Romney and Ryan vocal supporters of DOMA, they're also in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage and have promised to only nominate anti-gay judges.
So when you see me post something or hear me talk about my disdain for what Romney/Ryan represents, this is where I am coming from. These men pose a serious danger to my family...to my children’s family. Those of you who worry that you MIGHT pay a few extra dollars in taxes have NO idea how it feels to worry that your family will come under immediate attack if Romney is elected. It takes an act of Congress to raise taxes or balance a budget, but on day one in office, they can and will advance many of their beliefs through executive orders. And they've committed to doing just that. I respect that each of you hold differing beliefs and that you feel as if there are more important issues that make up your mind with respect to who you will vote for but I can’t fathom how you put taxes over the basic right of all individuals to love the one they love and to protect their families at any cost. No one can say for certain that Romney will balance the budget or that he will bring more jobs back to this Country (we’ve had other Presidents promise this and fail) but what we can say for certain is that Romney/Ryan are passionate about putting laws and previsions in place that will directly impact my family. They will have a catastrophic impact on the health and well-being of my partner, our three girls and what the future looks like for all five of us. I'm asking you to think about my family, think about each of our daughters, before you cast your vote. Can you honestly say you'd vote for someone who promises to take away your legal rights, and to prevent you from being treated equally? What if that politician threatened your legal rights to your own children? What if you had to get up in the morning and go to work defending his rights knowing that he was actively working to strip yours?
