So I need to post a retraction or correction to one of my posts from yesterday. I guess I didn't thoroughly research the whole Penn State, Joe Paterno, issue and for that I apologize.
It appears that Joe Pa did know that something was going on with Mr. Alleged Perv and he reported it to the higher ups at Penn State. Now what isn't clear is why he didn't also report it to the police. I know that if I thought someone I worked with or was friends with or was a family member was abusing anyone I would report them to the cops. I would rather be wrong and look like a douche than to do nothing and wind up and asshole.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wacky Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Deuces Y'all
Joe Paterno is in a world of hurt right now. What did he do
you ask? As far as I can see he actually didn’t do anything but have a
brilliant career as a football coach. One of his protege however is an alleged
child molester. Nothing I’ve read or
heard about this guy indicates he’s anything but admirable or that he knew
anything about the alleged abuse so why is he the one in the news? Why isn’t Sandusky (Jerry Sandusky is the
alleged perv) in the news more? Sure, we’ve seen him handcuffed and thrown in
the back of a police car but we’ve seen more coverage of Paterno. So why is
this upsetting? Well, let’s say the guy in the cube next to yours, or the girl
who runs the cash register next to yours gets accused of a crime. But hey you,
at one time, said he/she was a good person to replace you so now you’re the bad guy. Yeah man, that’s
fair.
So now it appears that one of Herman Cain’s accusers is a whiny bitch who wants what she wants so fuck you. Karen Kraushaar settled her claim against
Cain and then quit to take another job where she promptly filed allegations
against the supervisors at her new job. Apparently she wanted to work from home
(don’t we all) and they said no so she said they were treating her unfairly not
to mention they were passing around a “sexually oriented” email. How much you
want to guess the email was about how to use periods in email and she thought
they were talking about menses?
So this one time Russia sent a probe to Mars. Problem is the $170 million probe is stuck in
earth’s orbit. Worse still it’s
apparently full of toxic fuel. Gee, I
didn’t know Lance Bass finally raised the $10 million bucks.
A gigantic asteroid zipped by the Earth on Tuesday. It was a
little over 200,000 miles from the big blue planet we call home. That’s closer
than the moon folks but it did miss us so pfew.
Shouldn’t we be having a party or something? Oh yeah, we are. The CMA’s are on tonight. The only thing
better would be prime time NASCAR®. Not.
Nothing says “I love you” like leaving your 74-year old
mother in a vinyl recliner so long her skin fuses to it. The victim, Carol F.
Brown, of Kansas City, Missouri was left in the chair to marinate in her own
urine and feces. Only after she had an apparent stroke did help arrive.
According to her son, who happens to be the one who left her in the chair, this
is what she wanted. But hey, he did
bring her hot soup. I mean he’s not a complete asshole. Mrs. Brown died and the Jackson County Prosecutors
office hasn’t made any decision on whether to file charges. Really?
Yup.
Later bitches
Ballin'
Randon Rant (Repost)
k Helen
of Troy so bad that he abducted and raped (I made that part up) her. Stockholm
Syndrome anyone? (Ok, mythology I know. But still.) Julius Caesar conquered
pretty much all of the known world because he could but then had to go all the
way to Egypt to get a piece of ass. Then one sunny day in March all his friends
knifed him to death. Nice. Cleopatra murdered her sister and brother so she
could be Pharoh. Augustus Caesar killed Cleopatra (yeah, I know she killed
herself but that little fucker forced her hand) and Egypt was never the same. A
nice little Jewish boy is born in Bethlehem. He knows he’s special. His mom and
Dad told him so. Then 30 some odd years later he’s nailed to a cross while the
once adoring public poke him with sticks and throw rocks at him until he dies.
He got the last laugh though, didn’t He?
Fast forward a few centuries.
Isabella II wants the Jews to either convert to the
“true faith” or get the hell out of Spain. I can just picture it. Isabella
seductively fingers Torquemada’s robes, “Tommy” she says, “the Jews are ruining
Christmas. Fix it for me big fella?” “Sure thing, Izzy. I know some guys. We’ll
get ‘er done”. King Henry VIII marries his dead bro’s wife who claims to be a
virgin. Yeah, she probably was. Have you ever met an uber Catholic girl? She
pops out Mary who was no slouch in the hating of anyone who wasn’t a Catholic
(Jews and Protestants were all the same to her) but then her pipes bust and no
male heirs. So what does dashing Hank do? He finds himself a nice little piece
to dilly dallie with and decides to marry her. But whoa, Catherine (you know,
Mary’s mom) says hold up there Hanky-poo. I’m your true wife and the priest did
say “til death do us part”. He says no problem, I’ll just tell the Pope you
weren’t a virgin, i.e you were a slut, when I married you so there. Now folks,
Cathy wasn’t no slouch and she tells ol’ Hank go ahead you jerk; he’s my
nephew. Neener, neener, neener. Hankie says well if the Pope won’t play by the
rules I’ll just change them! Take that! And he DID!
Fast forward a few more centuries.
So there’s this guy we’ll call Adolph. You know,
because that was his name. Daddy didn’t love him. Mom was a whack job. Now
‘Dolphy just wants to paint. Paint and get rid of anyone who wasn’t German,
blond haired and blue eyed. Ironic isn’t it? Adolph Hitler was a dark haired,
brown eyed Austrian. Ponder that one for a minute. But the Germans say “Hey, he
got the trains to run on time, and got rid of those pesky Jews (who make really
good bread), Gypsies (who make really good palm readers), and homosexuals (who,
let’s face it, dance, dress and smell nice). So while he’s doing all
this-turning various religious, ethnic and social groups into kindling-the rest
of the world just sits back and says “We don’t want to get involved”. Ten
million people have to die the most vile and heinous deaths imaginable for
humanity to say “You know, that Adolph Hitler fella might just be a bad guy.
Help?” Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven. Gross. All it took for
the United States to get involved in WWII (aka The Big One) was a little
commotion over at Pearl Harbor caused by the Japanese. What the hell did we
ever do to them? Oh yeah. Exist. If you ever want to get every member of the
Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines pissed off just attack us on our own soil.
Armed Forces enema anyone?
Fast forward a few years.
1937 Saddam Hussein is born.
1952 Muammar Gaddafi is born.
1957 Osama bin Laden is born.
What do you suppose their parent’s hopes and dreams
for them were? As Mama Hussein suckles her newborn do you think she was hoping
he’d grow up to be a murdering douchebag? Papa bin Laden stares down at his son
whose tiny hand grips his bejeweled finger. Papa says to himself, “Yes, this
boy will live and die in a cave after instigating the murders innocent
infidels.” Prolly not.
Now I realize I’ve taken great license here. I’ve
left out a lot of history. Mostly I’ve left out the good that we, Humanity,
have done. And we have done good folks. Don’t forget that. It hasn’t all been
bad. It’s just that we’ve been trained from the beginning of time to hate what
we can’t have. To take what isn’t ours. To scorn anyone who isn’t like us or
doesn’t think like us. And to ridicule those who fight against that attitude.
In essence we’re all assholes in one way or another
so just face it. Do what you can to make Humanity better and leave the World
the fuck alone. She can take care of herself.
Monday Ponderings - November 7, 2011 (Repost from FB)
Deuces, Li’l Ones
Ballin’
- So you know by now that I’m obsessed with this whole Bieber Baby Daddy drama, right? Well this a.m. I woke up at 6:45 and got up to watch the news (I’m trying to get back into “get up for work mode”). So what story are they featuring but the one about my boy, Justin. Did you know that at the time of this alleged impregnation JB was 16 but Miss Hoor was 20? Jail bait anyone? Let’s see…a few million dollars for the label of sex offender for the rest of your life, is that a fair trade off for five minutes in a bathroom (allegedly)? Even if JB turns out not to be the Baby Daddy, this chick is goin’ down and not in a fun way. Baby, baby, baby ohhhh that ain’t my baby baby baby ohhhhh
- Conrad Murray – guilty of involuntary manslaughter. I honestly don’t think he meant for Michael to die, I think we can probably all agree on that. You don’t kill the golden cow unless you’re really dumb. However, this man has got to be one of the most reckless, arrogant assholes on the face of the planet. As a physician what in the hell was he doing injecting a drug that should only ever be used in a hospital setting into a silicone filled sausage casing? Where do you suppose he injected it into Michael that he hadn’t had plastic surgery on? The only place I can figure is between his toes and the thought of that skeeves me out so much I think I just wet myself a little. I was never a big MJ fan and I certainly don’t think he deserved to die but seriously, it was just a matter of time no matter who pushed the plunger.
- So Lindsay Lohan checked into jail last night (she must have an LAPD Express Pass) and was released after just four hours because of “overcrowding”. To say I’m outraged about this is an understatement. The California judicial system is a joke that isn’t funny. How about this Cali-why don’t you release some of the people of color who are in the pokey for piddley shit instead so there’s more room for Ms Lohan? This bitch doesn’t even begin to know the meaning of penitence and with the assistance of California she never will. Way to go fucktards.
- Has anyone ever watched The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? I’ve never wanted to poke anyone in the eye as bad as I do her. I’d say she’s the most annoying person on the planet (her voice alone makes my butthole pucker) except that distinction goes to her husband. Now these two have procreated. And in case you Philistines didn’t know, they’re the only two people on the planet who’ve ever had a baby. Oh. My. God. I die. Bananas.
- Herman Cain apparently likes boobies. And he’s different than any other straight (and some gay) men, how? Bill Clinton likes blow jobs. So what? Ok, that’s not really fair. Groping women who weren’t willing participants is a bit different than getting a quickie in the Oval office. Herman baby, you should just fade back into the wood work. Besides the Republicans already have several other great candidates. There’s Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman and Newt Gingrich and… um…er…OBAMA 2012!
Ballin’
Thought for today-Sunday, November 6, 2011 (Repost from FB)
So Lindsay Lohan is headed back to jail. I’d say poor her but since she likes the ladies I don’t think a mandatory vagina convention is going to upset her much. How is this hag not already locked up? Hey A&E, instead of sending an 8 year old who sassed his mother into a federal Penitentiary, why not send Lindsay? Come on over here and sit by Bone Eatah, girl. I’ll protect you. Of course who can really fault her behavior? If you caught last season’s Celebrity Rehab which featured none other than Papa Lohan it kind of gives you some insight on why Lindsay is such a colossal fucklehead. I almost believed he cared about her, for a second, when he was crying and talking about being in prison with dudes who had pictures of Lindsay with dicks drawn in her mouth. Then I thought how would he know that? Prisoners aren’t usually allowed in each other’s cells. Could it be that it was in his cell? Eww.
The “Occupy Wall Street” crusade is in its death throes. All it took was for the cops to take away their generators and some really cold weather. I mean how can you possibly run an efficient protest if you can’t hook up your XBox, recharge your iPod or heat up your HotPockets? Savages! The protest has lasted a little over a month. If it ends this week they’ll be just in time to grab up all those seasonal Walmart jobs!
Speaking of Christmas – it isn’t Christmas you Retail Giant whores. It’s not even freaking Thanksgiving for cripes sake! Nothing makes me want to celebrate the true meaning of the birth of our dear Lord like seeing Christmas decorations in September. Hey, the kids don’t need school supplies nearly as much as they need a brand new, child size, polyester NASCAR® Christmas stocking to hang over the fake fireplace or a dancing Santa that also poops marshmallows. I dunno, I’m starting to believe retailers think we’re stupid. Oh wait…
Anybody in the Midwest feel the earth move last night? I know I did. My first earthquake/tremor-how exciting! It was just one more sign of the Apocalypse. You know, the Signs like FOX canceling Dollhouse, mom jeans are no longer cool, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Jackman is still in the closet, those commercials that say high fructose corn syrup and sugar are basically the same thing, Jesus Camp-the movie, etc., etc.
In other news, Mark Zuckerberg spent a nice quite weekend in Palo Alto organizing his hoodies. Must be nice. I don’t own a hoodie and don’t want one. I would however like to have a nice sweater or one of those Branson sweatshirts with the big sunflowers or sad puppies painted on them to go with my bedazzled mom jeans. Hillbilly chic-it’s the new black.
That’s it for now. Later bitches.
Ballin’
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