Deuces, Li’l Ones
Ballin’
- So you know by now that I’m obsessed with this whole Bieber Baby Daddy drama, right? Well this a.m. I woke up at 6:45 and got up to watch the news (I’m trying to get back into “get up for work mode”). So what story are they featuring but the one about my boy, Justin. Did you know that at the time of this alleged impregnation JB was 16 but Miss Hoor was 20? Jail bait anyone? Let’s see…a few million dollars for the label of sex offender for the rest of your life, is that a fair trade off for five minutes in a bathroom (allegedly)? Even if JB turns out not to be the Baby Daddy, this chick is goin’ down and not in a fun way. Baby, baby, baby ohhhh that ain’t my baby baby baby ohhhhh
- Conrad Murray – guilty of involuntary manslaughter. I honestly don’t think he meant for Michael to die, I think we can probably all agree on that. You don’t kill the golden cow unless you’re really dumb. However, this man has got to be one of the most reckless, arrogant assholes on the face of the planet. As a physician what in the hell was he doing injecting a drug that should only ever be used in a hospital setting into a silicone filled sausage casing? Where do you suppose he injected it into Michael that he hadn’t had plastic surgery on? The only place I can figure is between his toes and the thought of that skeeves me out so much I think I just wet myself a little. I was never a big MJ fan and I certainly don’t think he deserved to die but seriously, it was just a matter of time no matter who pushed the plunger.
- So Lindsay Lohan checked into jail last night (she must have an LAPD Express Pass) and was released after just four hours because of “overcrowding”. To say I’m outraged about this is an understatement. The California judicial system is a joke that isn’t funny. How about this Cali-why don’t you release some of the people of color who are in the pokey for piddley shit instead so there’s more room for Ms Lohan? This bitch doesn’t even begin to know the meaning of penitence and with the assistance of California she never will. Way to go fucktards.
- Has anyone ever watched The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? I’ve never wanted to poke anyone in the eye as bad as I do her. I’d say she’s the most annoying person on the planet (her voice alone makes my butthole pucker) except that distinction goes to her husband. Now these two have procreated. And in case you Philistines didn’t know, they’re the only two people on the planet who’ve ever had a baby. Oh. My. God. I die. Bananas.
- Herman Cain apparently likes boobies. And he’s different than any other straight (and some gay) men, how? Bill Clinton likes blow jobs. So what? Ok, that’s not really fair. Groping women who weren’t willing participants is a bit different than getting a quickie in the Oval office. Herman baby, you should just fade back into the wood work. Besides the Republicans already have several other great candidates. There’s Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman and Newt Gingrich and… um…er…OBAMA 2012!
Ballin’
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