From time to time I'm going to post reviews. Reviews of TV shows, movies and books.  I won't review music (I'll leave that to my cousin Neil!) but I may make fun of the occasional artist. So here goes!

Hardcore Pawn - truTV (check your local listings I'm not a friggin TV Guide)

The shows premise, for those of you who've never watched, is centered around a family owned jewelry and loan (aka pawn) business located in Detroit, MI, their customers as well as the merchandise that previously mentioned customers bring in to pawn or sell. The principal characters of the show, although it's supposed to be "reality" are Les, the store's owner, and his adult-and I use that term loosely-children, Seth and Ashley.

What I've Learned About watching the show:

1. Les, 1974 called and wants it's bad hair back. Seriously dude. With your net worth I'm sure you can afford a nice hair cut.

2. Seth is a nasty elf that grew too tall so Santa sacked him.

3. Ashley need to shut the hell up. All she ever does is complain and whine about how Seth is trying to undermine her.  If I worked there, I'd frag her ass.

4.  Do your research before you go to a pawn shop!  Just because you paid "fi-teen hunnad dollahs" for a shiny watch doesn't mean it's worth that much.  Pawn shops are not charitable organizations. It's not their responsibility to give you enough money to pay for your crack er...rent. 

5. Never call the store owner a mutherfucker. That's a one way ticket to the parking lot my friend.

6. Pawn shops will NOT buy everything.  Case in point they refused to purchase or pawn and slightly used sex swing.  (Ashley stood behind Les scrunching her face up calling the item "disgusting".  That tells us a lot about Mr Ashley.  Poor guy.)

All in all watching the show is an entertaining way to waste 30 minutes. 

Rating:

American Horror Story - FX

I was really excited about this show based on the weird and not so slightly erotic commercials prior to the show's launch.  Then I watched it.

All I can say is the people who write this show need enemas.  Really big ones.  And the actors!  Oy!  Dylan McDermott couldn't act his way out of a paper bag with holes at both ends.  His bare assed best scene so far was him jacking off.  I'm not kidding.  (I think he was doing it for real.)

I'd love to be able to tell you what this show is about but I haven't got a fucking clue. 

The bright spot is the occasional scene with Oscar winner Jessica Lange. She's still a brilliant actress.  Well, at least I think she is.  As long as her character is supposed to creep you out then she gets my vote.

Rating: 

Tabatha's Salon Takeover - Bravo

OhmyfreakinggodIlovethisshow.  The show's premise is pretty simple.  Aussie born hairstylist guru, Tabatha Coffee, helps salon owners turn their businesses around.  Boring you say? I think not sir!  Tabatha is that chick you always wanted to sit next to in high school. She scares the bullies. Tabatha's no nonsense approach is, apparently, what these asshole salon owners need. If they're shit, she's tells them they're shit. I adore her.  If I was a lesbian....ok, no I wouldn't but I still adore her.

My favorite owner to date is the stupid-ass ex-Amish chick who let her customer's pay her in vodka.  I'm telling you folks, this show is worth the laughs (even though I don't think it's supposed to be a comedy).

Rating: 

I think that's enough for now.  Have an awesome weekend!

Ballin'