Deuces Li’l Ones
Sorry for delay. It’s been a long week. It was my first full
week back to work. I think I’ve got most
of my wind back though. Getting stronger every day.
So, where were we?
Oh yes, I remember.
Justin Bieber’s maybe baby daddy drama appears to be over. Mariah Yeater,
his accuser, has dropped her paternity case. Isn’t that interesting? Just in
time for Justin’s new Christmas song (which by the way is number six on
Billboard’s Top 200). Apparently Ms. Yeater’s claims could have been false.
Nooooo, really? Supposedly there are some incriminating text messages that hint
to an ex-boyfriend being the real baby daddy.
I wonder when she’s going to be on the Maury show. She should just crawl back under the rock she
crawled out from. Rumor has it Justin is
still going to take the paternity test and then sue this bitch when it show’s
he’s not the father. Not sure what he’s going to sue her for. Her trailer? Oh well, I for one am glad it’s over. Now
Justin can get back to what he does best. You know, finding the cure for
cancer, world peace. Shit like that.
Ashton and Demi are divorcing. Everybody say it with me…awwwwww. Now I certainly don’t fault any woman for
marrying a younger man. Men marry younger women all the time and no one cares about
that. Turnabout is fair play I say. What I don’t understand is why people are
so surprised that they’re divorcing. First of all, she’s a skeleton in Vera
Wang and he’s a philandering douche who couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag. Although Demi should be used to that (those
are two off the reasons she and Bruce split except for that acting part; Bruce
can act, sort of). It has to be hard
though, seeing all of your personal business all over the news, Internet and
Twitter. And then there’s the stuff that the media writes too. What it boils
down to is who cares? People are starving and Iraq has a nuclear program. We
have bigger things to worry about than two spoiled no talent richies. Don’t we? And by the way Demi, eat a sandwich…PLEASE
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part something or other opened this
week. Fuck me. When will this obsession end? I love a good vampire movie as
much as the next guy but the films in this dynasty aren’t good movies. They’re
not even remotely entertaining. I know I’m in the minority here. Supposedly if
you’re over 40 you’re supposed to get moist at the thought of Edward, the world’s
most annoying vampire. He’s so annoying that other vampires want to stake their
selves. And what of Bella you say? If I
had a truck I’d run that bitch over. The only bright spot is Jacob played
brilliantly by Taylor Lautner. Why brilliantly you say? Because he’s got a
great body and his character hardly EVER wears a shirt or speaks. Twihards can suck it. Watch a real movie
about stuff that could really happen. You know, like Harry Potter or the Wizard
of Oz.
The investigation into the death of actress Natalie Wood,
who drowned in 1981, has been reopened. Apparently a bunch of people are coming
out of the woodwork (no pun intended) 30 years later. Thirty years later that
happens to coincide with a book debut and a 48 Hours Mystery episode (airing
tonight 11-19-11). Where the hell were these assholes when Ms. Wood died? The
EMT who examined the actress’s body stated that “rigor mortis had not totally
set in” and he was real shook up about that. Kiss my crack you jerk! Don’t you
think this is something the coroner would have noticed? Folks, there is no
conspiracy here. Robert Wagner did not kill his wife. Christopher Walken may
have screwed her (that’s my opinion) but he didn’t kill her either. She
slipped, bumped her head, fell in the water and drowned. It was tragic and
pointless but what untimely death isn’t? Let this legendary woman rest in peace
you blood sucking leeches. Yeah, that’s
right. I’m giving you the finger with both hands.
Well, Pakistan has a list of “obscene” words that have been
banned in text messages. Words such as “monkey crotch”, “wuutang”, "intercourse",
"condom", "breast", "period" and “flatulence”. The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority
(PTA) banned over 1,100 English words as offensive or pornographic to cut down
on SPAM. In related news, US parents of adolescent
boys under the age of 10 have seen a sharp increase in their text messaging
bills.
The Occupy Wall Street folks took action on Thursday by clogging
subway stations and trains saying they only wanted to talk to people about
their cause. Yeah, that’s what New Yorkers want; some smelly weirdo talking to
them on the train.
And last but not least…
Charges against a transgender woman in FL were brought this
week for practicing medicine without a license. Apparently she injected cement, mineral oil, super
glue and “Fix a Flat” into a patient’s hind end to give the lady a little more to hang on to. Apparently the “doctor”
enhanced her/his own self as well. For
more info go to http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Fake-Doctor-Busted-For-Bad-Butt-Injections-134129628.html One of the Facebook posts about the article
sums up not only the “doctor” but the so called victim(s) [there could be more
than one]: You can’t fix stupid. Amen to that.
Later bitches.
Ballin’
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